Babka Giving Day Massacre

Latrine, French Resistance: Oh, we never had a chance. It was a slaughter.
Deja Vu, French Resistance: We must put a stop to these afternoon football games. 
-Top Secret

First runs at recipes usually provide the most entertainment and unpredictable results.  Babka was no different.  It probably didn't help to have the first inaugural meeting of Brews Brothers over at the same time (although the meeting was also cause for the babka being made) to distract me.

I prepared the dough the night before and also did the shaping so that all I had to do was pop the babka in the oven and bake it for the party.  Turns out that part was very straightforward and simple.  As the pictures show just roll the dough into a 15x15 square, sprinkle the chopped chocolate and butter crumble, roll up from one side creating a tube, then roll the tube into a ram's horn shape and then plan into a standard loaf pan.

Friday afternoon people began to arrive for the Brews Brothers inaugural meeting, and I hurriedly tossed the babka into the oven at 350 for 25 minutes.  After 25 minutes the bread looked nice and brown on top and made a hollow sound when tapped.  This typically means bread is done!  However, not when there are layers of chocolate and butter bubbling in the middle of it.  Here is where the trouble began...Peter Reinhart's directions are in paragraph form and he often bolds the bake time and temperature.  350 for 25 minutes.  However...in normal print two sentences later...something like 'it will take about an hour total to bake completely, after you check the bread at 25 minutes".  I did not read that part until it was far too late...

So, thinking the bread was done after the initial 25 minutes, and very pleased with the chocolate buttery smells wafting through the apartment (and with the delicious Belgium brew I had just finished - Kwak is one of my favorite beers of all time, well, at least of my time.  All time would be pretty ambitious...I've only been here for 28 years...beer has been around much much longer)  I flipped the loaf onto a cooling rack.  

Man 1:Wait, you forgot your phony dog poo!
Man 2: What phony dog poo?

oops

The loaf held form for about five seconds, and then with a puff of delicious smelling steam, collapsed into itself.  It was quite literally deflating.  Fortunately most of my guests were otherwise occupied with beers and chips and cheeses and did not hear my brief but violent swearing and calling the bread a See You Next Tuesday (thanks mike). 

So there were two options, dump it or keep baking.  I am not so easily defeated.  I scooped up the cooling rack and redeposited the Chocolate Cinnamon Babka sinkloaf back into the loaf pan.  Spent the next 30 minutes baking it to normal consistency (and having a beer or two...let you decide if thats an understatement...to re-inflate my ego). 

Nick: UGH (spits) What is that Stuff?
Chocolate Mousse: HAHAHAHA. Gasoline.

As it turns out, if you get your guests drunk on craft and microbrews and put plenty of chocolate and butter into your bread, it doesn't matter what the loaf looks like...It was like Gone in Sixty Seconds, except not an annoying waste of money starring a collection of actors that generally cannot act their way out of a crackerjack box, and Robert Duvall, who must have lost a bet.

Lesson for the Day #1:  Read the entire recipe and baking instructions all the way through instead of line by line.  Turns out you may end up with a mushy hole where the center of your bread is supposed to be.

Lesson for the Day #2:  Any bread that has a layer or layers of something delicious inside whether it be cheese, meat, olives, chocolate, etc probably will pass the tap test and carmelization (browning) test and still not be done.  It is important to follow recommended baking instructions to the letter the first time you attempt the recipe.

All in all it was a success,  and it passed the only test that matters...people ate it and liked it.

German Capt: Well let me know if his status changes:
German General: How is he?
German Capt: He's dead!